The Things We Do

So, things didn't really work out between me, and my possible new guy, and to be honest, I'm not that sad about it....actually I'm not sad at all, or disappointed. Is that weird? I mean I really did want to be in a relationship with him, I liked him and stuff, but he just wanted to FWB's, and I'm not cool with that, at all. I tried to DTR (define the relationship) (guess that's a big NO NO, wish I had known that before I did it) and he just gave me a bunch of "IDK's" so I gave him time to think, and in turn started thinking myself. He's just not the right guy for me, and I can honestly say, I don't know who is. Even though having a snuggle buddy would be awesome, I'm cool right now with just hanging out with my friends.

Speaking of friends......

Is it bad that I'm really not that sad about not having talked to my high school friends since last year? Especially my old best friend.....We had been instant best friends since the 7th grade, completely inseparable. We had our whole future planned out, we were gonna be best friends forever. But then she found "the one" and I moved off to college, and our friendship just sort of dwindled off into nothing...we haven't legitimately talked in months, and to honest, I'm not sad about that at all.....She played such and important role in my life during my high school career, and now she's stuck in my past.

I can't help but wonder if that is gonna happen with the friends I've made here in college. I mean they say that  the friends you make in college are the ones that stick with you for the rest of your life, and I honestly hope that's true, but still, I thought Jennifer and would be besties when we're old and gray, racing our wheel chairs down hills and shit, and now we don't even acknowledge each other.

I love the friends I've made this year especially. Our "round tables" each night are pretty much what I live for. This year has been so stressful for me, and I don't know why, but when I go to the round table, it's like all of that stress get's pushed to the background, and I'm laughing my ass off at nothing. I am so much closer, so much more open to the friends I've made this year, than the ones last year, even the ones from high school. I don't want that to go away.

Nothing is finite, nothing is set in stone, but I wish it was, I wish we could know some things about the future. But we can't and that really sucks. So I guess we just have to live like we are now, like nothing will change, and things will always be like this between all of us, and hope that it truly will.

Until next time.....