A little dramatic

I'm the baby of my family, I have three older brothers, and an older sister. Ashley and I used to be inseparable when we were young, considering we are only two years apart, but once she hit her teens things pretty much started spiraling out of control for her. She was okay for awhile when she was dating Ray, but then she discovered other guys, through the internet, as well as in person. One time when she was 16, she brought home a guy, and his brother who were from Oklahoma. She met them on the internet, and thought she knew everything about them. It turns out they were wanted for multiple counts of child molestation. I just couldn't stop thinking "I could have been another number on that list". I started to lose faith in her then. At first I thought that ordeal would make her stop, but it didn't and she just kept talking to guys online. She started making up stories, lying about getting raped when she literally wasn't. She went from being my best friend, to being a major disappointment. I learned not to trust her anymore. Not to trust what she told me she would do. Then the summer before I started college, she met Michael, and took an instant connection to him.           He seemed pretty cool at first, good, guy next door type. Then my sister got pregnant. They got into a fight after a couple months, and split up. And it's been like that ever since up until now. But now they are actually married, and they managed to get both of their kids taken away, without even blinking. When Angel and Caleb got taken away, I was devastated, even though they were only my niece and nephew, I loved them like they were my own. Also since my sister has been with Michael, she has tried to kill herself at least three times. 

My opinion of Michael has been a roller coaster ride since I met him. As has my opinion of my sister since she has been with him. She should be my role model, and instead she is the exact person that I aspire not to be. She is the epitome of all the things I hate in a women. She is weak willed when it comes to guys, especially those who mistreat her. She is strong in the beginning of the separation, and then she starts talking to them again, ending up getting back together. 

Today is the third-ish time she has tried to kill herself. This time it was by trying to OD on pills. I'm just so over it now. The first time it happened I cried, and was so worried about her, but I've just hardened my heart when it comes to her problems now. It's way too stressful. She's still my sister, and I still love her, but she is far from being my best friend, and even farther from ever being my role model. 

This is my rant for the night. I just needed to get all of this off of my chest. It isn't the complete story, but you can basically get the gist of it from this. I know we all have problems. You're pretty much not human if you don't have some kind of family problem, small or not. So thanks for reading/listening.

Until next time....

This Will Happen

Everyone sets goals for themselves every once in a while. Last year was no exception for me, and neither is this year. The difference between last year and this year is that I WILL make the goals I set for myself a reality.

 Losing weight is high on my list this year, as it was last year. I didn't push myself hard enough into keeping with it, but this year I will make my goal weight. Each post I do I will keep you updated on my progress, and hopefully by the time school is over I will have reached my goal weight, but we shall see.

I have more goals like raising my GPA, being less judgemental, toning down my road rage (we'll see about that one), and trying to cut down on my cussing (I throw the f-bomb around like a sailor). Those will get accomplished as well this year, I can guarantee you that my friends.

Sleep well everyone....Until next time...Remember, no goal is too far, or too hard to reach. If you want it enough, and believe in yourself, you can reach it.

A bout of Randomness

This is my first ever blog, I thought I would give it a shot, seeing as how I love to write. We shall see how it goes I guess. I apologize if some of my posts get a little personal, that's just how I am. An open book, that's me. 

I love to laugh, it's my favorite thing to do, but like everyone else, I have my days when I just feel like being alone, and sulk in a corner. My life has been a hard one, but hasn't everyone's in some way? You can't walk through life without stumbling over a few stones along the way. Nothing in life is as easy as it seems, and nothing comes without consequences, but when you actually try for something, the product can be more beautiful than the sunrise reflected on the ocean. 

As you walk through life don't forget to be yourself. No matter what happens remember to live, love, and laugh as much as you can, don't take life for granted, live it to the fullest. Be random, be sarcastic, but always   be you.

Hope you enjoyed my little "bout of randomness" until next time...