Stupidity

People handle their pain in different ways. I was a stupid kid, and did it in the only way that could let me feel. Now I'm forever stuck with the reminder. Was I being overdramatic? I didn't think so. Not at the time. I liked the pleasure that came with the pain. I did it for myself, not so other people could give me attention, feel sorry for me. I hate pity.

I get into these funks sometimes. I'll start thinking about my past, how much I regret it. I want to confide in someone so much, just let it all out, but I feel like I can't do that without being severely judge. I was stupid, I know that, I was told it many times, I don't want it vocalized by one of my friends.

Sometimes I feel so alone even though I know I'm not really. I may not show it often, that loneliness, but it's there. I'm a naturally happy person, but when that feeling hits you, it's so hard to shake it off.

This was an awfully depressing blog, sorry about that. Just needed to let it out. I promise the next one will have happier tone....hopefully....

Until next time....